i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
that is very illegal...i love you.
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