Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
