Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
