what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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