one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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