I've blown a few things in my day
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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