They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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