The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
