Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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