if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
