well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
