I must be too annoying 4 u.
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
