My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
