16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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