It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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