office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
