my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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