Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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