I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think your dad took our porno
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Randomize
