is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Randomize
