I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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