Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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