I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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