If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No subtext here. People are naked.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
as a side note pls kill me
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
