we have pet lesbian snakes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
