Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
