i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
