This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
