the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
