the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
