I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
