oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
