She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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