Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
