I think I won the penis lottery.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
