I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
