when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
