is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
