I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
