YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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