Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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