Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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