The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
