Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
