; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
