Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
