porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
