i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
