why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
