if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
