All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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